I am finding myself perplexed this week about the concept of waiting. It is starting to feel like waiting is being present to the moment in front of us while knowing the moment itself is never really complete, or full enough. Does that mean that God is just so big that a moment cannot capture God completely? We all have moments, if we pay attention to them, that are life giving and full, that contain a feeling of deep contentment. Yet, even those are not really complete, be they a beginning, middle, or end – for there is always more to be lived and explored.
This past week I led the funeral prayers for my 92 year old uncle who had been in a nursing home since February. In thinking about his life, in particular the last months, it felt to me that he was “adventing” – waiting for daily moments of care and presence while waiting for God to take him home.
At the home in which I work there is an older gentleman who is often frustrated. I cannot always make out what he is saying but I affirm him in his frustration and assure him it will all work out. It seems to calm him, to know that someone accepts his frustration, doesn’t ignore it, just accepts it. He too is waiting – it is like he has an internal drive for completion of something I don’t understand but that keeps him pushing forward to resolve.
There is a sister in the hospital who fell, and she too is in high waiting mode. Waiting for strength while she works to increase her movement, waiting for a care plan to support her, waiting to go home. She always says she is OK, yet it is easy to feel the waves of “waiting” that emanate from her.
We say through a church lens that Advent is a preparatory season, a season that has value within itself yet one whose season prepares us for the celebration of the human birth of Jesus. We know that through being present to the preparation Advent offers us it clears the way for a renewal of heart and mind to become more like the Christ we are called to reflect to the world. So maybe waiting and being present to the moments in that waiting are what our work here is. Can the two ever really be separated? Maybe being attentive and maybe the act of reflecting on that which we have been paying attention to, is the process of waiting that celebrates the richness of what is while leaving space in our hearts for “what is yet to be”. I always loved Advent, maybe now I know why.
Now and Then 