On Fridays if I am at the “residence” I will look down the second floor hallway before I leave to see if my friend is sitting at the end where he is usually parked. Yesterday he was, and I went and sat beside him for a few minutes before heading out. When I sit with him you can be guaranteed that a laugh or two will be shared, even if there are some sad vibes inbetween as he struggles to find his footing in his mind.
I noticed that his shirt pocket seemed to have a lot of stuff in it so I pointed to it and asked him what he had stashed in it. He had a few pens, some kleenex, a few bits of paper, and a plastic wrapped chocolate chip cookie. I think he may have had a package of jam in there too but that was not removed.
I wondered aloud why the cookie was in his pocket, as I am sure I saw him earlier that day with the wrapping of the cookie evident above his pocket and one would have thought he would have eaten it already. He said in his smooth, gentle, sometimes faltering voice that he did not know what he would be doing so he had the cookie just in case he needed it as he described the “doing” of his day. I usually cannot make sense of his day as at times he will speak with collections of phrases that I cannot decode. I just smile and nod as though I understood. It seemed to give him some joy and comfort to have the security of that cookie in his pocket as was evident in the way he showed it to me. Even in his foggy brain, he found something that gave him a sense of security yesterday, something that assured him all would be well. All in the form of a chocolate chip cookie.
This man continues to bless my heart, there is something in his simple stance to the day and the warmth he shares with me that I simply find transformative. Even on his more challenging days when his heart hurts our conversations will end with a smile and gratitude. Being present to a plastic wrapped chocolate chip cookie seems like a solid strategy as we navigate the confusion we may meet in our day. It works for him. What is the “chocolate chip cookie” you carry with you?
Now and Then 