Now and Then

I have been delinquent on my blog writing, sometimes topics do not surface naturally. I hope to develop a plan for topics (what do you wonder about?) to begin consistently writing every two weeks.

Lately I have been thinking about Joyce Rupp’s wisdom on aging in her newest (I believe) book: “The Years of Ripening focuses on personal transformation, the wonder and goodness of our hidden self, how the qualities of our personhood have been expressed, and in what ways we can claim ever more of the truest reality of our inner being.”

Spiritual writer Fr. Ron Rolheiser also has a new book on aging:
Insane for the Light: A Spirituality for Our Wisdom Years. “During life’s first years, we embark on a search for meaning and discover in ourselves a profound, unquenchable thirst for the Divine. And when we reach adulthood, we realize that we are called to give our lives away―to our spouses, children, careers, friends, and neighbors in need. But in the end, we must learn to let it all go.”

There is intensity, and intentionality, about both concepts. This week I want to focus on ripening, and next post I will focus on “insane for the light.”

I like the concept of ripening, though sometimes it makes me think of a pear that goes woody when it is overripe, or an over ripe avocado that turns black and mushy. Both ripenings have the potential to be generative for the core of both remain intact and can still produce new life. Exteriorly they do not look so good or so tasty, yet they still contain power and life.

“Ripening” makes me think about the overall concept of living well. Trees produce ripe fruit with steady and consistent care through their whole life. For me, living authentically and with integrity is only possible with reflection. When I look back at my own life, I was a better “reflector” at various points than others. My pace for one affected that ability – when I was moving too fast and was overextended my mouth got engaged before my brain. The thinking I generated was not as kind or inclusive and I did not engage in consistent reflection to retain integrity. I have always been a quick processor, so have had to learn (an ongoing challenge) to pause and think before jumping in especially with significant decisions that impact others. I am a better reflector when I am balanced too – daily walks, healthy eating, honest relationships.

Ripening is a concept for every stage within our life. The ripening will be richer and deeper I think with experience that has been prayed through and reflected on. The practices we build into our lives at a young age do help us to age grace-fully – not without some over-ripening at times but with a deep respect of the providence of God’s grace in each year we age. For we do – we age each year LOL! It doesn’t happen in one year, but each year!

Connected to this ripening is that concept of “letting go” – a phrase that we probably overuse to describe aging. Maybe because the letting go seems to dominate so many areas of our lives – work, health, relationships. As I work with so many who are 80 + I see a diversity of responses to this “ripening”. Some resist, some continue to live as fully as able, some just give up. And most have a combination of all three depending on the challenge of the moment.

It is simply not simple, this ripening stuff! We want to be united with God but we do not really want to die, we want to do the things we thought we would be doing when we retire but then get hit with health issues, we want to be wise and mature but it does not just happen, it takes energy to not become a mushy black avocado!!

One thing that I have noticed with almost certainty: those who keep a good sense of humour, those who can laugh at their ripening pain, those who can offer a smile on the days that truly do not deserve one, those are the people that seem to ripen with beauty and integrity. May joy lead us to ripening beauty!