Now and Then

There are a few things rolling around in my head and heart this week, two of which I think are highly interconnected.

When I first started in one residence there was a retired clergy who I had known for years but who has dementia. Every time I saw him I would stop and say hi. He usually said hi, but did not really engage. I never stopped saying hi. Now when I see him I get a warm hello and a lovely smile. Some days I sit beside him for a few minutes and he asks how I am doing, sometimes I harass and tease him, then I get up and carry on with my mission of the moment. It has taken about 6 months to arrive at this point, but it has been well worth the investment. His warm smile transforms my day into something spectacular.

I support another person with dementia, and we like to build things together. Yesterday we built a small wooden spin art kit, one in which you place a piece of paper with some paint on it and it spins it into art. Every time we build something we usually make mistakes, but we laugh and tease our way to success. Sometimes she is best at looking at the pictures and following the steps while I snap the pieces together, other times I guide and she constructs. There is always laughter and joy throughout as we celebrate our success and laugh at our errors. I encountered her in the hallway later in the day and she excitedly said I had to come back to her room to see what she had created. She had cut more cardboard circles out of old cards and had spun a few new pieces that were beautiful. She was so proud, and so happy.

Joy and relational investment. Key ingredients to quality of life. I have also realized how critical they are when a community is undergoing significant change. It is evident that when leadership does not consistently invest in the relationships that the change becomes harder on everyone. It seems pretty simple to me, yet it is often absent. The investment needs to be consistent, honest, open, and deeply respectful of the identity of the other.

Bless someone with your presence today, as you will be the one blessed. Never under estimate the energizing power of joy and presence.